Don’t Postpone Your Happiness

By Carlyne Fernald ‘16, ‘18G

What do you do when you’ve prepared, worked hard, and advanced in your career field — and then you wake up one day and decide you want something entirely different for your life?

You can leave your job, sell your house, buy an RV and take the leap into an unconventional lifestyle — one that goes against the grain of societal norms. 

Here’s how my husband and I got to this point — and how we did it.

Jumping for joy at the Bonneville Salt Flats on the border of Utah and Nevada

After college

I attended Nazareth College and was about to graduate with my bachelor’s degree in communication and media, with a minor in Psychology. I was passionate about marketing, but I was unsure of how I’d step into my career after graduation. I spent four years playing on the women’s lacrosse team at Naz. My coaches, teammates and the lessons I learned on and off the field were something I knew I would carry with me forever. My junior year, I had the opportunity to study abroad in Australia and realized at that time how important travel was in my life. With these foundations, I was still indecisive on my next move, so I met with my professor and greatest mentor, Mark Weber, to discuss my options for the future. Mark taught my Intro to Marketing class, which is where I was first introduced to the fascinating, ever-changing subject. I fell in love with wanting to understand people’s motivations and was almost certain I would pursue a career in the field.

After spending time in Europe playing lacrosse, I came back to the states to begin my master’s degree coursework in Naz’s integrated marketing communications program (now marketing communications leadership). The program was designed for students who were working, so professors encouraged us to bring our hands-on experiences into the classroom. When I had free time, I worked to build my network in the community. Our professors encouraged us to reach out to local marketing firms and ask for informational interviews, which helped expand my network instantly. Eventually I was hired full-time by a local agency that was growing exponentially.

My first two years in the industry weren’t easy. I started out as an associate account executive. I put all my energy into the work, hoping I would do well and advance into a more client-facing position. I spent countless nights putting in extra hours after work,  trying to prove myself. It was exhausting at times. The company certainly had its perks, and I had the chance to work alongside many incredible people, some of whom I’m still very close to. Despite the strong relationships I had, I was disappointed regularly with how I was treated by other colleagues.

I dug deep, thinking, “Maybe this is how the real world operates. Maybe I just had to get used to it.”  I learned the ins and outs of advertising in the pharmaceutical drug space, but I was so stressed I couldn’t sleep most nights. I felt like everything that had drawn me to the company in the first place didn’t measure up to the long hours and the negative environment I was in. Eventually I earned a promotion into a client-facing account executive position and started having thoughts about leaving the company soon after. I was afraid to leave; I had never done that before and I was downright terrified of what people would think. I worked so hard for the past six years, building my network to end up at an agency I no longer wanted to be a part of. I was at a crossroads and I needed to reassess my values and what made me happy.

Time for a new path 

I remember the day so vividly when Mike and I decided we wanted to change our plans for the future. We’d been married for about a year and had only been living in our home for nine months. We both were unhappy with our jobs and felt as if we were driving to and from Binghamton every weekend, where we both had family. We spent every evening after work talking about what it would be like to leave the Rochester area and see the country — to visit the national parks, to hike, fish and camp together. At that time it only felt like a dream. 

We knew in order to make it happen, we would need to start small. We first needed to find a camper or van to live and travel in. We spent a lot of time at used RV dealerships. We didn’t have luck, until we met a couple through Facebook Marketplace. In October of 2019 they sold us their 18-foot Dutchmen travel trailer and we pulled it home the next week. In the months that followed, we left our jobs, sold our house, went back to our hometown, and moved in with my parents. We mapped out our route and planned to leave New York in March, but COVID-19 abruptly halted everything. 

Pandemic disruption

We changed our departure date to April and eventually ended up putting our trip on hold altogether. A lot happened over the next seven months. The delay in our departure was a blessing in disguise because it gave us the opportunity to put more money into our travel fund than originally planned. We made a significant profit selling our house, because we renovated two of the bedrooms while living there. We also avoided realtor costs altogether by selling the house ourselves. When we moved back home, my parents allowed us to live with them at no cost, which gave us the chance to save most of what we earned. We felt blessed to still have jobs, but couldn’t wait to start fresh and begin our journey together. Mike worked long hours and I worked two jobs. The days were long and we barely had time together, but we knew it would be worth it when we got on the road. When we weren’t working, we spent endless hours renovating our camper, reupholstering the couch cushions, tearing off the horrid window treatments and painting every inch of the walls. Despite the uncertainty, we kept planning our route, hoping our trip would eventually happen. 

Travel the Fernweh

On October 9, 2020, we got in our truck, towing our trailer, and truly made our way into the world — Mike, our yellow labrador, Berkley, and I living in our tiny home on wheels. We created an Instagram page and travel blog, called “Travel the Fernweh,” where I write and capture all of our whereabouts, while Mike puts his photography talents to use. Our closets can only hold a handful of items and our hot water doesn’t work, which means we have to heat up water to do dishes and we can only shower every few days or so, when we have access to a campground. This minimalist lifestyle has enabled us to wake up every morning with a new backyard and an unexpected agenda for the day, and we couldn’t be more grateful.

Mike, Berkley, and I in our Dutchmen Camper

Reflecting back on the past 18 months, we feel very blessed. We’re living out this dream because we were willing to take a risk. Some people are too afraid to leave a job that makes them unhappy, simply because the future is unpredictable. It’s human nature to want to stay in our comfort zones, where we know what to expect, but that’s not always living. Living is waking up every morning excited about what the day will bring, even if it only brings uncertainty.

Other lessons

• I’ve learned it’s important to treat people with kindness. 
• It’s important to seize the opportunities that come our way, by saying yes more.
• I’ve learned to take risks. When we do,  we give ourselves the opportunity to grow and become a better version of ourselves. 
• So far, we have been on the road for 109 days. We have driven over 11,000 miles, listened to dozens of murder mystery podcasts, visited 17 states, and slept in 21 campgrounds. We’ve made new friends and had coffee in our tiny kitchen with most of them. We’ve hiked 288 miles, eaten 13 loaves of bread and approximately 98 peanut butter banana sandwiches. We’ve explored 15 national parks and taken thousands of photos.

Sledding down the sand dunes in White Sand Dunes National Park in Alamogordo, New Mexico

Corona Arch at Sunset, Moab, Utah

Memorable moments

• We stood in the presence of the largest living tree in the world in Sequoia National Park.
• I ran the fastest 8 miles of my life through the Santa Catalina mountains in Tucson, Arizona, with a new friend who turned out to be a professional runner. 
• We witnessed two bighorn sheep taking an afternoon nap as we hiked 10 miles across the Badlands of South Dakota, through the wind and snow. 
• We ate homemade buttermilk biscuits and local grape jam, then drove through the Big Horn Mountains and were stunned by their breathtaking beauty. 
• We hiked through giant trees in the Redwood Forest.
• Berkley ran his heart out on the coast of Oregon, his first time on a beach. 
• We biked 20 miles around San Fran and stood on the steps of the “Full House'' House.
• We visited El Capitan after Emily Harrington became the first woman to climb it in a day. 
• We took surfing lessons from a cool guy named Bob in the Pacific ocean.
• We climbed the jumbo rocks at Joshua Tree National Park.
• We were a part of my sister and her fiance's engagement in Steamboat Springs, Colorado.
• We visited Utah’s “Mighty Five” National Parks and conquered the “Narrows” and “Angel’s Landing” hikes.
• We explored caves and walked along the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. 

Angels Landing Hike, Zion National Park in Utah (currently ranked as one of the most dangerous hikes in the U.S.)

Berkley and I at the beach in Oregon

Our adventure has been everything and more, but not only for the reasons mentioned above. Sometimes travel is hard and can seriously break you down. One night we were asleep in Huntington Beach and someone cut our bike lock with bolt cutters and rode off on our bikes as we slept a few feet away. That same week, Berkley got sick and had to stay two days at an emergency vet clinic. Prior to that, we had a brand new trailer tire blow out only 48 hours after we purchased it, and then the spare tire valve blew off minutes later. To top it off, the following morning we woke up to a flat tire on our truck. Mike’s rubber wedding ring fell off in the ocean, and I lost my favorite sweatshirt. We exceeded our gas budget far before we thought we would. We showered in campgrounds that didn’t have heat or shower curtains. We drove all the way to Mount Rushmore to be greeted only with fog and no sign of the national monument. We were told we couldn’t go to Yellowstone National Park due to a major snowstorm, which forced us to replan our route and miss Grand Teton National Park entirely. Finally, I had a mental breakdown and was unable to summit Sunset Peak at the Brighton Ski Resort, after hiking up it for three hours.

A drone selfie at Dead Horse State Park, Moab Utah

Yosemite National Park, California

As we near the end of our trip, we’ve come to realize that some of our greatest memories have been the ones that were unexpected and sometimes not so bright and cheery. I believe that our plans changed for a reason —maybe to give us the chance to seize another opportunity. We’ll always remember the feeling of summiting Angel’s Landing, sledding down the sand dunes in New Mexico’s White Sand Dunes National Park and our Garden of the Gods tour via horseback. But we’ll also remember the nights we didn’t have cell service, when we’d spend hours laughing hysterically at our Mad Lib creations, the joy of choosing a new sticker every place we visited to add to our sticker wall and the cold nights we spent crammed in our tiny home, eating whatever we could find in our fridge. I’ve learned over the past few years that it’s important not to postpone your happiness and to remember that happiness is all of these things, not just the “Instagram worthy moments.”

Mike and I on top of Angels Landing, Zion National Park

When we flew home for Christmas this year, my mom gave me a book called “13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do.” I folded down the corner of one of the pages because the quote stuck with me. The author, Amy Morin says, “Too many women think ‘I’ll enjoy life when I get promoted’ or ‘I’ll be happy when I finally start my own business.’ But life is happening right now. Enjoy the journey and embrace the imperfections along the way.” 

I hope you won’t postpone your happiness. Maybe you want a job that doesn’t keep you up at night. Maybe you’d like to travel to a new place, or you want to visit a national park. Maybe you hope for a relationship that you can be vulnerable in, or an opportunity to do good in the world. Whatever it is that you want, I beg you to take a risk and pursue it, because life is short and nothing is guaranteed. 

If you ever find yourself traveling the country, just remember, “Travel far enough and you’ll meet yourself.” You can visit our travel page at travelthefernweh.com. We’re on Instagram, @TraveltheFernweh, and my personal instagram is @CarlyneGrace. Feel free to reach out at any time, I’d love to hear from you.

Mike and I taking surfing lessons in Huntington Beach, California