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What is Your “Why” In This World?

By Norlene Remollata '15

When there is a new alumni blog post, it is sometimes written by a successful celebrity, people who’ve made a huge impact on the world or have at least 40 years of life experience to share. No, I’m not Gary Vaynerchuk or even Oprah. So I’m not going to try and pretend like I’m some super wise successful person, or drop some great quotable material that would later be seen as a phone background or in a picture frame hung on a wall. 

Most of you reading this might be people who follow my cooking blog, or recognize my work in the Rochester community. Maybe you have just graduated or about to graduate and are looking for guidance in the “real world” with these alumni posts. For most of you, you just see me as some alumna. Honestly, that is how I want to write to you today. As just some alumna. I thought a lot about how to inspire you through this blog post, but as much as those inspirational Odyssey articles about taking on the world one step at a time are fantastic, I think what will be helpful is to share what obstacles you might face in the post-grad life. 

There are two topics everyone talks about in their early/mid-20s and even towards their 30s. The first is their job. The second is their relationships. Jumping right into the topic of careers, let me pose a question for you: What is your “why” in this world?

Norlene with her graduation cap that reads, "future CEO” decorated with the Philippines’ sun and stars.  Photo taken at the infamous Nazareth corridor. 

Careers & Flashbacks

Seven years ago this was my exact thought as I was sitting in my chair at graduation listening to the commencement speaker addressing Nazareth College’s graduating class of 2015. Four years of hard work boiled down to me in a cap and gown ready to walk across that stage. However, I couldn’t help thinking, “what will I make of myself?” After all, the night before graduating my friends and I decorated our caps and mine said future CEO. My 21-year-old self was really shooting for the moon! I graduated from Nazareth with a marketing degree and as much as I have all the artillery to tackle a campaign project, storyboarding, or creating a lean marketing message, what does that look like as a career? 

Shortly after, I tried many jobs trying to figure out how to fit my college degree in any company’s position. From a translation company to an insurance company, I even worked at a Fortune 500 market research firm working with clients like Amazon. Yet I felt I was squeezing a triangle into a circle. I even landed one of the greatest opportunities out there: working for the choreographer of the Lion King. I was constantly questioning, shifting, and building my career. I went through the motions of a 9-5 each day. 

When I was out of the office, the world of food became my own space. I’ve always had a love for food and I credit my grandmother for that. She taught me flavor profiling and pairings, but most of all how food could bring people together and how it shows love. It is a language of its own. I follow many well-known Rochester food enthusiasts thinking maybe one day, I could be like them by trying new foods around town and writing one or two reviews about them. At the time that was my aspiration.

Norlene with the 2015 Commencement Speaker, Gail Evans.

Until one day I was given my grandmother’s cookbook. Growing up in a Filipino household, my grandmother was the one who cooked for any holiday or birthdays. She always had a dream of one day publishing her cookbook, but unfortunately, she passed before she could see this dream come true. My mother told me it needed revisions, but I was the only one who knew her recipes. Out of everyone in my family, she taught me her recipes the same way her mother and grandmother taught her. So I took this opportunity and turned it into my passion project. 

My blog ‘Lola Jayme’ focuses on Filipino culture and cuisines. Uncovering the hidden gems of the archipelago is the key to the culture I shared with my grandmother and share with my family. ‘Lola’ in Filipino means grandmother and Jayme is my grandmother’s last name. In a way, my blog pays homage to her yet fits as a pseudo name for myself. Growing up I’ve traveled to the Philippines multiple times to visit family, but the Philippines is made up of over 7,000 islands. 7,000 islands I have yet to explore and learn more about. Every region and island have their own unique dishes, flavors and languages. My grandmother had extensive knowledge of this topic. 

Before I could dig into revising her cookbook, I felt I needed to deep dive into the history and culture that all of these islands share, but also their uniqueness. So I’m currently cooking my way through Filipino Chefs’ cookbooks to learn more about the history and cooking techniques. Writing about my cooking experience and new findings, I’m not only learning the region my family is from but all over many islands. I'm even figuring the roots and influences of Filipino food. It’s like untangling a ball of necklaces. 

This blog isn’t just for me to explore my own culture and share stories but to create a healthy dialogue, ask questions and break down stigmas and stereotypes. This blog and its many purposes have been at the center of my attention, especially during a time where the Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders (AAPI) community is facing discrimination. Using my voice and art to amplify change has been at the forefront of my mind as I work to honor not only my grandmother but the Filipino culture. This journey has taken my creativity to a whole new level due to the fact that cooking is the only art form that uses all five senses. I don’t have any culinary training, but by reading and studying cookbooks I’ve learned that just like me, most chefs start their cooking journey because they are purely passionate about food.

Norlene with her grandparents.

When The Inspiration Hits

Now, this is the part where you could say I would insert some inspirational message like, “Go after your dreams!” or my personal favorite, “You can be the next Steve Jobs!” I’m going to be real with you, I don’t disagree with these messages, but I know there are a lot of people who go through life not knowing what they’re passionate about. For some, it could be too early, or you may not have been encouraged to think that way. But if you have that “I don’t know” inclination when someone says go out there and chase your dreams, it’s okay. It’s okay to be unsure. I didn’t know my passion was cooking even when I was sitting in those chairs where you may be soon or have been, waiting to enter the post-grad life. What I did know is that I have enjoyed cooking since I was young. 

“Passion” is a heavy word to say the least. When you’re 21 years old, how can you be certain? But here’s the thing: I didn’t chase my passion, but I became passionate about what I chased. If it is a hobby or even a job you should do the same. What’s more important than just having a dream is having the yearning to reach it. Always striving for more in your career as well as outside of your career. You’d be surprised where that might take you. Strong enthusiasm can transform your life. Whatever it may be, explore. Just don’t live life passively. Knowing your passion and purpose is a gift. Don’t waste your time and get to work working towards it.

Relationships

The second subject I want to talk about is relationships. I think people are more concerned about swiping left and right on dating apps in order to find love and relationships than finding their passion. It’s funny how love dictates our lives. The first and most important step is to learn to love yourself. 

Your journey to find love will be challenging, painful, or even regretful. But never feel that one person defines you or makes you whole. Work on yourself, believe in yourself and treat yourself. Learn to center yourself so you know what you want and what you deserve. Know your own worth and make sure the person you’re with challenges you to be even greater. Love honestly. When you’re young you think love is like magic, but it isn’t the case. Making a relationship work takes constant choice and you have to be honest with yourself about who you choose to be in a relationship with. Respect your partner, and lean into understanding your emotions. All feelings, the good and bad, give us textures. Learn from each experience. What qualities are important to you? How do you communicate? How do you compromise? Learn to determine a relationship that needs work versus a relationship that won’t work. 

Next, learn to forgive others but also yourself. This will be challenging, but getting hurt and hurting people is part of the journey. Forgiving others can be hard, but forgiving yourself can be just as difficult. In any circumstance, you always have control over your thoughts and moods. 

Last, love your family. In your 20s this is the time you start to humanize your parents. You are going to reach an age and realize what your parents have gone through. You may even notice you both share more than you think. After all, you are a 2.0 version of them. You’ll start to think that they weren’t always grown-ups. You start to empathize with them because being human means that they won’t always be around. So spend time with them, learn from them, thank them, tell them I love you, and even ask them questions about their lives.

Now, I will leave you with this...

What I have written is by no means a foolproof manual on how to tackle the post-grad life or life in general. If there was a manual it would be easy for all of us. What I can tell you is that everyone's transition into post-grad life will be different. Try not to compare your path to your friends’ paths. When you think you’re “late in the game” compared to everyone else, just know it is only late based on the timeline you set for yourself. Know that you can create a path as you walk it. Write the chapters as you go. We are all going from point A to point B. A majority of us set our gaze on point B, but focus on the space in between the points, what I like to call the journey. No matter how accomplished you become or if you hit a roadblock, embrace the journey.

Flyers in Focus

Norlene chats with a current student about her experiences. Watch the full video on Youtube >


Biography

Norlene Remollata has several business experiences, but currently her concentration is working in nonprofits, and arts and cultural organizations. She works in developing and creating innovative programs with local collaborators that help provide opportunities for the Rochester community. She has teamed up on projects with many organizations such as the Boys and Girls Club, Center for Youth, and Urban Charter School.

Norlene attended Nazareth College where she obtained her Bachelor’s Degree in Marketing in 2015. She has also earned numerous certifications from the University of Maryland, University of Michigan, Northeastern University, and the University of Virginia in business, community engagement, social impact, and arts and cultural management. Norlene is currently working towards earning certifications in Food & Beverage Management from Bocconi University and The Science of Gastronomy from Hong Kong University of Science and Technology.

Beyond the office, her passion lies within cooking. Her blog ‘Lola Jayme’ focuses on Filipino culture and cuisines. The goal of the blog is to “uncover the islands of the Philippines one recipe at a time.” Follow Norlene’s cooking journey on lolajayme.com and on Instagram @lolajay.me. You can also connect with her on Flyer Connect.


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